Entry 10: Lolita vs. Loved Ones

I know this topic has been done to death but I'd like to share my personal experience on this subject.

Recently I was showing a dress that I was buying to my little sister; she is somewhat familiar with the style and occasionally lets me dress her up. My sister and I are very close and she's always been a pillar of support in my life. I'm very comfortable talking to her about Lolita and I often show her the things that I buy. My mother happened to be in the room at the time and my heart skipped a beat as she asked to see as well. I showed it to her; expecting disgust as her only response.

The topic of my choice of wardrobe has always been a stressful one. As early as I could remember I've always rebelled against her clothing choices for me; around the age of 4 I didn't want to wear little dresses anymore and opted for jeans and a t-shirt, for age 9 I added a lot of dark and baggy clothing to her dismay, and most recently I chose an alternative hairstyle. My mom has a very bright and colourful personality, this shows through in her clothing. Soft creams, calming blues and warm peachy colours; are colours you can consistently find her wearing. They work very well for her, on me however is another story. Given our previous history, I did not expect her to approve of the dress I was buying.

I swallowed my fear and turned my screen to her. The image was greeted with a "Ooooh! That's nice!" and my head exploded. My mother, who up until now abhorred anything that was black and wasn't mainstream fashion, approved of my lolita dress. I didn't tell her what the style was called or even where the fashion originated from. I just smiled and took it for what it was. I doubt I'll ever tell fully tell her about my little hobby, but maybe one day I'll show her my dress collection. If she has any questions, I'll be more than happy to answer. For now, I'm just going to enjoy this moment.

Haenuli's Stained Glass JSK

Looking at the situation, it was probably a combination of things that have changed. Please keep in mind that I'm 21 years old, living on my own and have a job. These factors give me a bit of a safety net. My mother could have disapproved but there's nothing she could do to stop me. I'm not dependent on her financially and I'm very proud to say that. It also helps that the dress is not over-the-top and the print on it is gorgeous. The cut of the dress could easily pass as a regular dress. 


There is no right or wrong way to introduce your loved ones to Lolita fashion. Everyone's experiences vary greatly and I'm thankful that mine were mostly positive. An important thing to remember is that sometimes there's nothing you can do to change someone's opinion on Lolita. Whether it's the name that puts them off, the way the skirt puffs out, how it looks like "Victorian baby clothes" or whatever, sometimes it's just not possible to change someone's mind and that's okay. Never let that damper your spirit. No matter what your choice of clothing is, always wear it for yourself.

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a wonderful New Year! c:

Spooky

Picture Credits:
Dress by Haenuli